My Love/ Hate Relationship With My Boobs

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“I’m a boob guy.”- The four words I dread to hear coming from a mans mouth. I doubt I’m the only small chested girl who feels this way.

 When I look back at my ‘Boob History’, I’m reminded that I was the first girl in my class to wear a bra. I was the first one to get some sort of sign of breasts. All the girls were fascinated and waiting for the day they could go to Marks And Spencers to get their own training bra. When I hit my mid teens, my boobs stopped growing and everyone else’s kept going. Ironic really. At age 24, I am a perky 32B.

The title of this blog pretty much sums it up…as it should. Some days I love my small boobs! There’s no risk of them hitting me in the face when I work out, I can sleep on my front and I can wear those lacy bralettes and pass it off as an actual clothing choice. Rather than: I got soooo drunk at pre drinks that I forgot to finish getting dressed.

Then there are the days when I’m flicking through Instagram and I see these breathtaking women wearing low cut bodysuits and dresses. “Wow” I think, “I’m gonna buy that outfit and then I can look like that!” Oh no, no, wait! Hang on. I can’t. Because I have nothing to hold that dress up. It won’t look the same as the girl on insta. In fact, if it’s even possible, it will make me look even more flat chested. T-shirt dress it is…

It’s not just my going out outfit choices that are limited either. I also need to be careful about the bras I choose. You think a padded bra is always the answer? Well, you’re wrong. I have yet to find a padded bra that makes my boobs look NATURALLY bigger. Now it could only be me that notices this, because I am the only one that sees my naked boobs every day, but, a padded bra always makes my boobs look really high up! Like, almost under my neck. So I either look like I had a botched boob job or that I’m cheating and wearing a wonderbra… which defeats the whole point, right? 

Doesn’t stop me from wearing them though… I have to! Or they honestly look so small and I, personally, just don’t like that. Maybe if I wore a REALLY tight top they’d look okay, but I’m not Kendall Jenner, I’m not confident enough for all that ‘free the nipple’ stuff. It’s way too cold in London anyway! 

Sidenote: Please no one mention waterbra’s. The concept of those freak me out and what happens if you have a leak? Although I am curious on if you put your ear to them….do you hear the ocean?

Now, I love those beautiful lacy bra’s, the ones you see in Victoria’s Secret…. *drool*. No padding, just underwire wrapped in beautiful lace with detailed stitching… just….uh, can we take a moment?….Okay. So they don’t work for me because I have next to no cleavage. So, my boobs actually take away the beauty from the bra. I look like a child trying on their mothers bra, because everyone finds it funny! (Don’t lie, you know you did that too). This is probably one of the main things that get me down about my boobs, because my underwear choices are based on the amount of padding and how it’s gonna sit on my chest and look under my shirt. Rather than: I’m gonna get this bra, because it’s just a really nice one.

Majority of my friends are big breasted women, and a lot of them complain about their juicy melons. Mostly because of back pain and the fact they can’t wear high neck tops because… well… they just look so funny in them haha! I don’t know what it is, their boobs just look way bigger and it’s very distracting for everyone! In a v-neck though… phwoar!

 So I guess the grass isn’t greener on the other side…But, I bet your partners aren’t complaining? Though that could be a bigoted opinion. Right now, I’m just trying to ‘rack’ my brain (sorry, had to) on if I’ve ever heard a man or a woman say: “I love them to pieces, but their breasts are just too humungous and it’s really getting in the way of our relationship.” Now that, I would be very interested to discuss with someone. 

I admit I do spend more time getting ready by applying bronzer to my 32b chest to create the allusion of cleavage, therefore risking getting make up on my outfit, but it makes me feel better. I am majority of the time wearing a padded bra, because, again, it makes me feel better. At the end of the day, when I get to take off my bra after a long day, I wish my boobs would fall a bit. Instead they stay where they are, which would be great, if they were just a little bigger. There’s always gonna be someone who loves their bigger- than- life- breasts.

Now onto a question I get asked a lot; Would I ever consider getting a boob job? To be honest, this is a decision I consider almost every day. Would I be happier with bigger boobs? Probably. Do my boobs depress me that much that I’m willing to save and spend thousands on a surgery and have over a month of healing time? Not really. Like I said, it’s a love/hate relationship. It will probably forever remain that way. 

 I also have that fear that if I get a boob job that my boobs won’t heal properly and they’ll  go hard. That is a huge risk when it comes to breast enlargement surgery. You can never predict how they’re going to heal, or how they’ll feel. No matter who you go to for the surgery. Which risks resulting in you looking like a playmate from the 90’s. Now I’m not saying that I would go HUGE if I got a boob job, I have a tiny frame so I would look absolutely ridiculous if I got double D’s. I’m thinking a C cup. Enough for cleavage but not enough I lose food in there. 

 I suppose i’ll never know if I’m serious about this decision until I have the money to spend on the procedure.

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Until then, I will survive with my little ones. This is how I was made and I can either hate myself and always wear baggy clothing to hide my figure or I can embrace it until I make the decision whether to change it or not. I choose the latter. I will continue to wear stuffed bras that make me more confident and wear bodycon clothing when I’m having a good day (and not planning to eat bloating inducing foods). That’s how I CHOOSE to live my life, my breasts don’t define who I am. No matter what your insecurity is, if you want to wear something that makes you feel good then wear it. Don’t worry about what it makes a certain body part look like. Chances are people aren’t looking anyway, they’re too busy admiring that inner happy glow coming from you.

Much Love xxxx

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4 thoughts on “My Love/ Hate Relationship With My Boobs

  1. I know you said not to mention water bras, but a girl in my circle in uni had a few pairs and we were OBSESSED with hers! They used to get shared around as much as a popular outfit.

    Can I also just say – if a guy is bothered by your boob size, then he doesn’t deserve to be your guy. What’s he gonna do when they’re too busy being baby-feeders than boobs? Or when you’re 80 and you want to be a cute old couple together but he has a problem with your saggy tatas? Find your cute old couple man, don’t worry about the rest of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment and taking the time to have a read! Although water bras freak me out, I am definitely that person that gives them a feel in the shop!

      Love your point about my future guy, all women with boob issues (no matter what size) should read that! x

      Liked by 1 person

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