God, I hate dating apps.
Whatever happened to grabbing a coffee and you and your dream man/ woman grabs the same cup and you start talking? Then the next thing you know you’re in a committed and happy relationship? Or does that only happen in films? Seriously though, can someone please tell me that’s happened to them!
Since the launch of P.O.F, Match.com, Tinder, Bumble and the other thousands of dating sites/apps, I feel people have gotten lazy when it comes to meeting that special person. Now I’ve had the apps and I tried them for a good year….. They are the most awful apps I have ever had on my phone. I could not go one conversation without the guy offering to “cut the crap and meet up and bang.”…. I’m sorry…. Am I supposed to be like: “yeah, okay!” That’s not why I got them. I was under the impression we actually had to have a civilised conversation and AT LEAST have one thing in common before we decided to meet up and see each other naked. No? Okay, well now I know.
Now, I am well aware that not all men on dating apps/ sites are like that. You also have the ones who seem interested and then all of a sudden don’t reply. Oh yeah, let’s talk about that for a second: What the fuck is that about?
This is actually a common conversation I have with two of my friends who had the apps. One of them actually met her current boyfriend on Tinder and both are very happy (glad it works for some). The other is in the same boat as me and just completely confused by the opposite sex.
Let’s start from the beginning. You both swiped right, which is always a good start, you seem to be having good conversation. You’ve looked at their insta and Facebook because you watch a lot of Catfish and you pray that you won’t be one of the fail stories. You talk for about two days, start calling each other ‘babe’ and even leaving kisses after messages. You go about your day fantasising about your first date and that this could be the man of your dreams. You go to message them to ask how their day was and…..nothing. Wait, what? Did he lose his phone? Are my messages sending? Did he combust in flames? Nope, he’s just an asshole.
Here’s the thing. I get people can change their minds. You never know what’s around the corner, these guys could have met the woman of their dreams at Starbucks (see first paragraph) or the person they were trying to get over and forget about reached out and saw how foolish they were and want to give things a go. If that is the case, then that’s bloody fantastic, if I’m honest. That’s the dream for a lot of people. But then what happens to the people like me? Well it seems the obvious answer is to just ignore me and wait until I get the hint and go away…. Chill dude, we’ve been talking for two days. I’m not gonna throw a Britney in your face and shave all my hair off and hit your car with my umbrella. If anything, I would cheer on for the guy. That’s so nice to hear that things worked out for other people and they got what they want. Because that doesn’t happen a lot in love, or maybe it does. To be honest I’m not the best person to ask…. as you can see.
I’m not asking for a pity party, I’m just confused as to how am I supposed to meet someone if everyone is relying on apps and websites to do it for them. Say I go to the nightclub, and majority of girls can vouch for me on this: Most guys who grab your ass in a club and use their whole tongue during your first kiss aren’t really looking for a girl they can see themselves going on a date with. Having chats till 5am about nothing. They’re basically saying: “Hey, you look like you made an effort with your appearance. I can really see you spent time gluing on lashes to your eyes just so I could invite you back to mine, have sex for 5 minutes and then fall asleep and pray to god you are gone by the morning. Oh and don’t worry about taking my number, I’ll take yours and never call or text you.” We know your secret ‘Nightclub Boys’… You weren’t keeping it that well anyway. Now I haven’t actually gone home with anyone I’ve met at the club, mostly because when I was a kid, the concept of ‘Stranger Danger’ scared the hell out of me, but also because I don’t enjoy that type of thing. I personally cannot give myself in that way to someone I just met, especially knowing we are both incredibly intoxicated. Doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it, that’s just not how I, personally, work. As long as the people who are doing it are safe and happy, then I really don’t have an issue with that topic at all.
I’m a firm believer in ‘If it’s meant to be, it will be’. Meaning, you can’t force it and if it’s gonna be a positive influence in your life then it will happen. Ultimately that’s the most important thing, that you are happy. I’ve been single for a long time and I’ve never hated my life because of my lack of a love life, if anything it has given me focus and allowed me to plan my life around..well… me! Which is great, but yeah sometimes I could do with that attention etc you get from your other half. But maybe it’s not meant to happen yet, maybe it won’t happen at all. But I hope it does. I can’t write this blog if I’m not honest about my opinion and what I want. Not fair on you guys or me.
I’m not really sure what the point of this post was… I suppose I’m trying to speak out for the girls or boys who have been through what I’m talking about. I suppose I’m also just venting. And finally, I suppose someone will read this and tell me the answers to my many questions about the male species. But maybe we’re not meant to know how the other sex works…. because where is the fun in that…… (That was 100% sarcasm by the way)
So dating apps and/ or websites aren’t for me. To be honest, I’ve always had this feeling that I would meet someone out of the blue whilst I’m going about my day, maybe at a party or an event of some kind- if alcohol is available then even better! Until I meet that someone, I’m happy living my life just for me and finding my place in this world.